Lost: Motivation. Reward if Found.

Can you help me?

The last 3 days have been a total bust. Not having contacts has all but ruined the week with running. Excuses you say? No. I tried to work out in my glasses and it wasn't happening... especially since they're broken. I bought a new box of contacts last month and can't find it. I was trying to avoid buying some, but it looks like I have to wait until Monday morning to get a new box. Curses.

I woke up today after a solid 8 hours of sleep exhausted. This week has been rough between the running and work, not sleeping well, driving across town all the time... I was looking forward to today to clean and organize... but all I want to do is sleep.

Its like the bad habits I have pushed down are already coming back to haunt me. I've never had motivation to really clean, but I had hoped that I would have more energy than I do today. Its frustrating. I know what I should do, but all I want to do is sleep.

A co-worker said the 2nd week would be the toughest to get through and he's right. I have the desire to run, clean, etc etc etc... but not the will to get up and do it. Now, I will say, if I didn't have the glasses issue, I would be running. I actually miss it. But to focus on trying to make a dent in the insanity of my room... seems to much, and I don't know why. Yes, its overwhelming, but nothing I can't handle.

I just need to refocus myself. I keep thinking, "Oh, I'll start in an hour." The hour passes and I think the same thing again.

I can keep making excuses: I can't do laundry or take the trash out because its 99 with a heat index of 109. Valid point, yes. But still an excuse.

I can't do dishes because it'll take too much energy to run the dishwasher right now. Alas, I could still load the dishwasher.

Excuses, excuses. Lack of motivation to do anything today. Maybe a lazy day is what I need, but I don't feel good about it.

I feel guilty.